Do you belive in God?
by Sonten
Summary: Sometimes you just can't see before what will happen. In one moment you're happy with the love of your life, and in the next - you're trash in his eyes. slash: Edward/Jacob. Rated just to be sure.
1. Chapter 1

**Do you belive in God?**

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_~Ok, this is an AU fic. First of all: Edward can't read Jacobs toughts. That would ruin it all, wouldn't it? And Jake isn't a werewolf. So almost normal people XD... These plot bunnies are killing me XD_

_And of course: The (main) pairing is Edward/Jacob. So if you don't like, don't flame. But any normal rewiews are more than welcome!~_

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**Chapter 1.**

_Jake~_

Just how long will this last? Just how many more painful moments?.. Everything was so beautiful at fist. Liking him from the first glance, melting from the sound of his laugh, just looking at his handsome face. Just... be with him.

And only him.

It was love. Pure, and innocent – the elders called it „imprinting". He would do anything what that beauty of a human asked. And if was fine that way. Fine, but only until He found it out.

Because something as strong as this feeling can't be bottled up inside. So He asked – and got answers. And He, Edward, that perfect living God said „all right". Jacob couldn't be any more happier than he was at that moment. Even if his feeling weren't returned – he wasn't a fool, he knew they weren't – he could hope. Got a chance, at least that much.

The first month was brilliant. He was full with energy and love. His love called him to dates, and every time he got a red rose. It was just a flower, but Jake couldn't throw it away, so they were put in a box under his bed, with the uttermost care.

Even now, they were there. Even now, when he just sat on his bed, looking at nothing. Just... thinking.

He just knew it was too good to be true. Eating dinner with Him, watching movies with Him, and even getting embraced by Him.

Hot kisses, loving hugs – but of course only if they were alone. Edwards first rule was that Jacob should ignore him in school. Hard and cruel rule, but he could take it. He would take it. Everything for his beloved – that was the rule of imprinting. If his one and Only commanded something, he had to do it.

So he tried to be his normal, cheerful self with his friends in the school, and love Edward at night when and if they met. And that was less and less times. First five times a week, then it slowly reduced to two, or lucky weeks three.

And he couldn't do anything against it, because of the second rule, that came two weeks after the first: never call him.

Jake could't even call his love, no matter how he missed Him. But still, that was all right too, cuz he was Edwards one and only. Or that was what he tought, until he found hickeys on his boyfriend – in places where he never put them.

That was unbearable. Pain. Betrayal. – But no jealousy, because his Love forbade him to be jealous. Seeing Edward shrug, and wear His –perfect- mock smile while forbading him the emotion of jealousy.. And stopping his fit, when he only wanted answers.. Why? What did he do wrong?

But deep within Jacob knew: he just wasn't good for Him, couldn't do anything for Him. The only good thing was his all time best friend, Bella Swan. She was a nice girl with huge heart – and always listened to him. He could open himself up to her, talk to her like to no one else.

And after his heartbreak –that he refused to show – he could count on her. Eward still called him sometimes, and asked him out twice a week – without roses – but the other days he was with Bella. Spending time with her made him forget about his imprinting, and his Love. Jake cherished the minutes in the cafeteria every day when he would meet with Bella and her friends, and just chat.

Until rule four: „Don't meet with Bella."

That... he couldn't belive his ears when he heard Him say this through the phone. He felt as if he had been slapped. At that time Bella sat next to him on his couch, and they were watching a show together. Good thing was, that the girl is sharp, and she could tell from his face that Jake has no other choice. Naturally she already knew about the imprinting, and everything that came with it.

So Jacob couldn't decide to smile or cry, when his best friend hugged him, kissed him on the cheek, and with a last promise „I'll call you every day. Don't worry, I'll be with you." –went home.

After that time everyday in school was the same blur. His heart would beat faster than ever when he saw Edward, but only for a short moment before he had to turn away, and ignoring Him, as promised.

It was pure pain. Unbearable, strong pain everywhere in his body. He just had to see his imprinted, had to be with Him, had to feel his touch – so the times when Edward would come to him as if nothing happened were Heaven. Even if he knew that this couldn't be like this for long. He can't take it forever.

But somehow this relationship worked like this for a year. A long year. Maybe he only stayed sane bacause of Bella –hearing her voice everyday made the pang in his heart lessen. And hearing His voice, seeing His face made Jacobs love only stronger.

He couldn't get away from it. It just wasn't possible, and didn't even think of it until just before their meeting, he saw 'his' Edward, kissing a blonde chick almost in front of him. It hurt him more to see that there was passion, and maybe.. even love.

That night he didn't go to their date, because.. Jake wasn't capable of doing that. So he just ran home as fast as he could – never looking back – and just sat in his room. Not seeing anything but the first memories of 'his' Edward, 'his' Love. The long forgotten cuddling, romantic dates with roses, and just for the love. – Not for the quick fuck.

Luckily his dad wasn't at home, so he could sit there without explanations, and without answering the always ringing phone.

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_~Liked it? Was it readable? Some feedback would be nice. And I already tought of a next chapter. So if at least one people (not counting you, Gigi! ;P) is interested, I'll write it.~_


	2. Chapter 2

**Do you belive in God?**

_Disclaimer (forgot to put in ch 01...): Don't own Twilight – and never will._

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~Time for chapter 2! Thank you _sue-love45_ and _mia-dcwut-09_ and _Gigi (Agnes Cornel)_ for the rewiew!! I hope you will like the second _–and last-_ chapter of this story! :)

sue: yeah, actually that's how I planned to do it :D Hope you will like this one too!

mia: I felt the same –so I had to write down his side too. – And I hope the story is whole with this :)

Gigi: (L)

On with the fic! ^_^ ~

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**Chapter 2.**

_Edward~_

What a mess it was. Edward started dialing again- God knows how many times he did already that night.

How did this happen? It all began when he noticed that boy. Jacob Black. His nervous stares were unable to go unnoticed, and it was pretty easy to get him to confess. So, it looked like that guy had fallen in love with him at first sight. „Imprinting" as he said.

Edward wasn't gay, but... the deep blush on Jakes face, his slightly trembling hand and nervous expression was just too much fun to refuse.

And so, he aagred to go out with him. Hell, he even played the perfect boyfriend – because it was trurly amusing to watch Jacobs innocent, happy smiles, and always cheerful personality. Really, that boy was so naive. Just only because of this imprint-love thing Jacob was head over heels for him.

Always clinging on him, and always accepting his every whim. It made him grin every time when he looked at the faces around them. – Most especially in school. Jacob was always with him, seeking him out, waiting for him.

It was a mistery for Edward, why the native american boy went to their school instead of the one in the reservatium. – Later he found out that it was because of some life-long best friend.

But that didn't matter now. According to Jacob, this imprint-thing meant that he would always do what Edward wished from him. Interesting, isn't it? It was worth testing Jakes virginity only after a week of going out was really easy. The boy would jump when Edward told him to. – So what about the opposite? Just for his curiousity, one night in the middle of their date, he asked Jacob to never come to him in school. Surprisingly the other just smiled and told him: „Sure, sure, no problem." But what was more surprising, he was true to his words. Jake never bothered him anymore in school – not even to greet him.

And never said anything agains his words – just shined brightly on their dates, no matter where they were. Always smiling while holding the red rose, that Edward bought him. Of course at first he gave that flower only to pose as a perfect boyfriend- -but after some time it just happened. Maybe he just liked his Jacobs reactions.

Yeah, his Jacob. Somehow he got addicted to the younger boy. So much that he started to feel this inhuman desire to see Jake, when the native american called him.

Hearing his sweet voice... it was addicting. Too addicting – so much that one night he couldn't take it anymore, and told Jacob not to call him.

Just like before, he got „Sure, sure, no problem" as answer – on a cheerful voice.

Not speaking to him that much on the phone, slowly reducing their dates, not staying long after their love-making. Yeah, that should have make Edwards feelings disappear. Except it made not. Somehow the addiction got stronger.

So much, that one night – a day before their routine-date – he found himself near Jakes house, looking at his window. After some days he was back again – standing right below the window.

What the hell was his problem?!

Edward didn't know – didn't wanted to know. But still, somehow he ended up almost every night sitting on a tree, in front of Jacobs window. And watching the younger boy sleep, till the sun got up.

It was as if he had to see the native american more and more – but Jake never said anything like that to him. He never asked for extra dates, never greeted him in the school, and never called him. It was as if he was only with Edward, because this imprint –or what – made him.

And that tought annoyed Edward the most.

He crawled the others presence more and more – while Jake was always the same: happy and all smiles, but never demanding anything.

Torture... that was it – and maybe that made him embrace the first chick who wanted a good fuck. Of course after Jacob it was hard for him not to get limp. The touch of that woman was just ... disgusting.

But at least his Jacob noticed the hickeys – the ones left by that slut. He was so cute – all angry andfierce, and... beautiful. Sadly only until Edward told him: „Stop it. Don't dare make a jealousy scene!" He didn't want to belive that he could feel that pang in his heart, just from hearing the „Sure, sure, no problem" sentence.

And then came that ... bitch. Bella, or what whas her name. True, he saw that girl sometimes in Jacobs home – and even once or twice that two chat in the cafeteria – but now... Everywhere, Bella was with HIS Jacob. Cafeteria, corridors, going school together. And then that bitch even vent over to Jake almost every day. – Because two times a week the younger boy had a date with Edward. Only two times... it seemed as a good idea in the beginning, but now... it wasn't enough.

So he called his boyfriend for an extra date... – only to be told that Jake already went to watch a movie with that annoying parasite.

And it didn't helped when he found out that his Jake changed school because of Bella.

He couldn't take it anymore. –So the next time Edward saw his boyfriend and that bitch together in Jacobs room – laughing and watching something stupid, so close ... too close to each other – he called up the tanned boy, and forbade him to meet with the bitch.

And how happy he was, when minutes after the call Bella ledt the house.

From that on, he wanted to spend more time with his gorgeous boyfriend – but the other still ignored him in school, not even looking at him. It was fun at first, but now ... it hurt him.

But somehow he managed to keep his sanity – Still, Jacob needed some punishment, and Edward even had a plan for that. Hickeys and the scent of someone else didn't affected they boy anymore, so it had to be something stronger.

And there was even a perfect time for it: their one year anniversary. – Luckily it was on one of their normal date-days. So he asked some chick out for a date – just before the meeting with his Jacob. He was sure, that the boy will see them – and was curious of his reaction.

But all he got was a blank face, and then.. his boyfriend ran away. He didn't go after him. Why? Edward was sure that Jacob would go sooner of later to their meeting point. – but this time it seemed he was mistaken.

He waited in front of an old cinema – like always, but this time Jacob never came. Maybe he shoulsn't have kissed that slut. He felt disgusted with himself. But... but it didn't matter if finally he could make his Jake jealous or angry just once more, like the first time. No more „Sure, sure, no problem" and no more fake smiles. Was it too much to hope?

That night he called Jacob – without a break, always dialing again – but no answer.

The sun started to rise – and he was still there... with mobile phone in his hand and dialing again. Why didn't answered Jake his phone? Nor the home phone, nor the mobile. Maybe he was really angry this time?

It was around 8 in the morning, when somebody picked up Jacobs mobile – the only probled was, that the person wasn't his dearest Jacob.

„Bella? What the hell are ..." Edward couldn't even finish the whole sentence before he was interrupted by Bellas strangely blank voice.

„If you are interested, come over." And the connection broke.

Come over? Why? What happened?! And what was the bitch doing there? Where was his Jacob?

Thousands of questions ran through Edwards brain, while he somehow managed not to hit anyone in his hurry. Maybe he drove too fast but just couldn't care. He literally jumped out of the car and was greeted by Bella at the door.

Once again he wanted to ask his questions, but was stopped.

„Upstairs."

Something was off. So without anything more, he went upstairs and into Jakes room.

First, he couldn't decide what to do or say. Jacob lay on his bed, and next to him was an opened box.. full of dried roses. All of the flowers Edward bought him long time ago. When did he stop? He couldn't remember, nor why. Some of the roses were shattered around the bed.

The tanned boy looked so beautiful sleeping like that, but still... something wasn't right. He slowly walked next to Jake, and touched his face. Normally the boys temperature was always a bit higher than normal, but now it was... cold. Stone cold. And finally he noticed what he couldn't before: Jacob wasn't breathing. His heart wasn't beating, he wasn't sleeping... he wasn't... couldn't... no..

„Billy called me this morning." Bellas voice pulled him out of his toughts. Edward turned to the girl, who was stanting next to the door. Now, that he looked longer at her face, it was obvious: she cired until no more tears came. How couldn't he notice this? Well, easily: he didn't looked at her when going inside. But now he could only stare at her, waiting for more explanation. It took some minutes, but Bella finally continued.

„His heart stopped."

„...Why?" His first words since he came inside, and now couldn't say more. Edward could feel the pang in his heart. It was unbelievable. His Jacob, his love... yeah, he loved him... but now the young boy lay dead right in front of him. He carefully held Jakes hand – it was stone cold. So unnatural... so wrong.

„Remember the word imprining?" What a stupid question, of course he rememberd – but instead of voicing it, he just nodded not even looking at the girl.

„It's so much more than normal love. You were his world."

This got Edwards attention. What did the bitch mean with that? „He ignored me most of the time."

„It was you, who commanded him to do that." Command? No. He never... he just teased him... was it really because of that stupid testing? He held the dead boys hand closer. It couldn't be.

„...Never called."

„You forbade him."

„Wasn't jealous."

„You told him to kill his feelings."

Edward got a sick feeling in his stomach. No, this meant.. this meant that that stupid boy took everything serious? His every word? ... That's why he never... ?

„You know ..." Edward wanted to shut Bellas voice out, but the girl didn't stop. „... it's said that if someone imprints, then that person will be what the imprinted wishes. True friend if that's needed, ideal lover, or a sex toy." The last words hurt more than ever. When will that bitch shut up?!

„And if he isn't needed anymore, then even dead."

Isnt' needed... dead.. the words echoed in his head. No, Jacob was needed! He loved him, he just... just failed to say it. Edward just wanted to make the other prove his love – and because of that, he failed to notice that Jacob did that all along.

Dearest Jacob... how could he be so blind not to notice? Maybe if he did, then he could have been happy... he could have been with him instead of sitting outside his window all night.

But now.. he lost everything. Just because of his stupidity.

Silent tears flowed down his cheeks, and he saw Bella turn around and walk – but she stopped for a minute. It seemed she still wanted to slap him with words. And he was right this time.

„Do you belive in God?"

Edward just sat there – when did he sit down? Didn't even remembered to – and looked at her without words.

„Ask him to forgive you."

**.:The End:.**

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~This was the fic. I really hope you liked it. So.. tell me what you think! How do you feel after this fic? Shall I write more fanfic, or shall I learn how to write first? :D Tell me all your toughts, I wanna know! ;) ~


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